Concerns about parent-child relationships are one of the most common deterrents to divorce filings. Many people have heard horror stories of parents cut off by a vindictive spouse or subject to an unfair custody order.
Some people try to stay in truly unhappy and dysfunctional marriages because they fear what may happen to their parental rights if they divorce. Despite the dramatic stories frequently shared online, most parents who divorce while their children are minors find ways to share custody with one another.
Does someone contemplating divorce have to worry about alienation as a consequence of ending their marriage?
The courts keep both parents involved in most cases
Although many people have heard horror stories about loving parents cut off from their children by unfair custody arrangements, such outcomes are relatively rare. Judges have an obligation to act in the best interests of the children.
Most children require the support and guidance of two parents for optimal overall health and social development. The courts are unlikely to award one parent sole custody unless there is clear evidence of abuse, neglect or dangerous circumstances. Even then, a parent in an unstable situation might still be able to obtain visitation or could request a custody modification when they improve their circumstances.
Intentional alienation does occur
While the courts are unlikely to cut one parent off from their children, sometimes one parent makes an attempt to do exactly that. They may cancel parenting sessions with questionable excuses. They may bad mouth the other parent so that the children refuse to spend time with them.
Such attempts at parental alienation are more common than the courts unfairly cutting off one parent from their children. The good news is that the courts do view parental alienation as inappropriate parental behavior.
Someone who has evidence of their co-parent bad-mouthing them to the children or denying them parenting time when already subject to a custody order could ask the courts to modify the existing arrangements based on that misconduct. A judge might decide to reduce one parent’s time with the children because they have displayed an unwillingness to put the children’s needs first.
Although parental alienation is a real concern for those sharing child custody, there are ways to avoid alienation and fight back against it. Learning more about what governs custody cases can help parents assert their rights and get appropriate support from the courts in the event of a contentious situation.
