Parents preparing for divorce often worry about their future relationship with their children. Sometimes, children take sides when their parents divorce. Particularly when they are older, they may have opinions about who they blame for the changes to the family unit. Other times, they may simply have a stronger bond with one parent.
When a parent who currently has a strained relationship with their children faces divorce, they may worry about losing custody because the child wants to live with their other parent. Can children effectively set the terms for a custody order?
A child’s preferences are only one factor
Judges hearing contested custody cases have to consider a variety of different details to reach terms that are in a child’s best interests. A child’s preferences can be one of the factors that a judge evaluates when deciding how to split parenting time.
Judges tend to give more weight to the well-reasoned preferences of children who are 14 or older. That being said, judges want to act in a child’s best interests, and teenagers are notorious for being reactive and short-sighted.
Judges are unlikely to deny one parent shared custody or visitation solely because of a teenager’s wishes. Parents may have an opportunity to improve their relationships with their children if they take assertive steps to reconcile while the teen is subject to a shared custody order.
Learning more about the law may help parents feel less anxious about upcoming child custody proceedings. Teenagers have a right to express their preferences, but judges don’t automatically defer to a child’s wishes. At least until they are 18, they may have to spend time with both parents.
